30 Days Challenge- Day 20

A photo of something that makes you happy.

www.flickr.com/photos/moonjazz

 

I'll let the picture do all the talking.

Feeling Good

(This is an old post back from Dec. 30th that I never got around to posting. But I haven't been posting very often, so here ya' go.)

I just got done reading a truly touching blog today. 

Here's the link for anyone interested. 

notnowimonsensoryoverload.blogspot.com

The thing that really got me is that this woman has two sons, and both have a disorder called Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Everyday is a new day of worries for her. She doesn't know what to expect or what things will happen.

She can only hope for the best.

Now I know I'm only 15, so why am I worried right?

It's not that I'm afraid of having a child with a disorder, it's that I see how hard of a life she has.

Yet she remains positive, hopes for the best, and makes the best out of her situation.

I have problems in my life, just like everyone else. 

And if you've been reading my blog for a while, or you've seen some past posts, you'll know that I'm not good at dealing with my problems.

But I should feel lucky. I should be more grateful and happy with the way my life is.

Because it could have been way worse than it is now.

I always think to myself "I shouldn't have to live this way, no other girl my age lives this way"

But that's not true, and even if it is, this is my life. It doesn't have to be like everyone else's. 

I need to accept that my life isn't perfect.

I hope that one day I can look back and think 

"Wow, I can't believe I got through that...look at me now."

What's the point of life?

Recently I've been thinking...is life pointless? I mean we go through so much in our lifetime; pain, heartbreak, crime, illness, sadness and much more. In the end, there's no reward. We just die.
Sure, there's so much more to live for, like marriage, children, college, and all the happiness that life might bring.
But let's be realistic. Some of us have great lives, others just didn't get that blessed. For those, life is hell.
Its almost as if life is just some game. The winners are the ones who have everything they could ever imagine and are happy. The losers are the people who find themselves in tough situations they can never get out of. Others are still playing this sick game, hoping they win in the end.
That brings me to the thought...what is the point of life?

5 Days

So as you all know, about three weeks ago I was invited to go to a track meet in Wisconsin. It would be from the 13th of July to the 18th. I was very nervous since I didn't know anyone except Derek and his sister. I'm very happy I went. I had an amazing time! I made lots of new friends. We went to an aquarium, watched fireworks over Lake Michigan, went to a party, went shopping, and ate out at Golden Corral. It was so much fun! At first it was awkward, but I got to know everyone and had a good time.

The only thing I didn't like were a couple boys there. They kept on making fun of me and calling me ugly. I was a little hurt at first... but then I got over it. Derek was really nice to me. We talked ALOT and flirted even more. He told me I should come back next year since it will be at the beach. And that I should wear a bikini! I hate that I fall for him so fast. Anyway, I will be back next year and I hope he will too. I'm glad I went to Wisconsin. I thought I'd be five days of boredom...but it definitely wasn't. Plus we won the gold at the track meet.

If only...

...I had a boyfriend, to make me happy.
...my uncle were still alive, to make my life happy.
...we were wealthy, I'd be more happy.
...my grandma weren't sick, my mom would be happy.
...those looks guys used to give me would return, to make me feel happy.
...I had true friends, to keep me happy.
...life were easy, everyone would be happy.
...I were perfect, I'd always be happy.
I can't always be happy because I can't control how everything works out.But I can control how I handle each situation. Ive decided to be more happy about what I do have, not what I don't.

I wrote this because last night, I sat on my couch, and cried. About everything that wasn't perfect in life. Then I realized, it will get better. Maybe next year, maybe five years from now.
Everyone has problems, it's how you deal with it that matters. But I believe that God has a plan for everyone, he's just working on the glitches of mine.
No matter how long it takes, when God turns me to the right direction, I will trust him.

"God, if I can't have what I want, let me want what I have."
-Anonymous