Twisted Triangle and The Boiling Point

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Long time no see, yes?

Well lucky for you I have a lot to talk about today.

So much, in fact, that I'm going to try to summarize as much as possible.

The thing I'm most wanting to talk about is my friend Sabrina. She recently started her own blog (not going to link it because I am an anonymous blogger and she has chosen to show her identity on her new blog) and on it she is going into a lot of detail about her life and her love life.

I know, I know. She's sixteen, what love life?

Well, a few months ago she was involved in a very complicated love triangle. A thirty year old guy she hooked up with (he's her parent's coworker), his ex-wife, his girlfriend, and her.

All the while they had been making out in his car, he was cheating on both her and his girlfriend.

On Sabrina's blog she is very open about this, first and last names are mentioned. Everything is described, nothing is left out.

I don't know how she does it but I could never open up my life to the public unless it was anonymous. That's like an open diary.

Another thing I wanted to mention was my mom. I always talk about how weight doesn't matter and people should not worry about other's weight unless they are unhealthy.

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I am 5'3, 107 pounds and I am perfectly healthy according to my doctors.

She, on the other hand, seems to think it's okay to always tell me that I need to gain weight, eat more and stop being so skinny.

As if I purposely diet to be thin...

I'm obviously naturally thin, my parents (out of all people) have been calling me skinny since I was a little girl.

I don't miss meals, I snack, I eat all the time.

It's not her f*cking business to talk about my weight if I am at a healthy weight.

Yesterday, on the way back from a track meet we were talking about how I need to start eating healthier and not eat so much junk food.

And guess what she said?

"You also need to start eating more, you have no meat on your bones...look at you..."

And guess what I did?

Yell at her.

I was so mad. She has mentioned this several times before and every time she does I tell her that I don't like that she says that to me. Why will she not understand?

Just like she has taught me my whole life, yelling is the key to getting people to listen. She yells at us for every thing we do so I'm assuming it's okay for me to raise my voice at her too?

I told her I was offended that she would think I have some sort of eating disorder when I have been naturally thin my entire life and that I eat just like everyone else. I made sure she heard me when I said that the doctors have never told me I was unhealthy or too thin.

I may be a size zero but I am still a human being. I'm so tired of hearing "real women have curves." Does that make me fake? I must be a robot.

Well guess what bitches, real women have no curves too.

Deja Vu?

First things first, if you haven't already, read this post from last Halloween before you read this actual post. Otherwise you will be totally lost on what is going on.

Okay so last night Sabrina called and asked me if I wanted to go out with her tomorrow (tomorrow now meaning today). Her mom had an extra ticket for a show and allowed her to bring a friend.

I, of course, said yes. I had nothing better to do and it sounded fun.

While we were on the line her mom called from work to ask if Sabrina had decided who she was going to bring. When Sabrina told her it was me she immediately said no and that she didn't want me to come. When Sabrina asked why her mom said that "we will talk about it when I get home" and she hung up.

Sabrina and I stayed on the phone about an hour after talking about why she wouldn't want me to come. Only one thing crossed our mind, last Halloween.

Remember how I said her mom was yelling at me? Well apparently she is still upset about that night.

So when her mom got home Saturday night Sabrina, once again, asked her why she didn't want me to come.

Her mom would never give her a straight answer except that she didn't like me and didn't want me there.

She doesn't even know me! The time she really met me was that Halloween night and that barely counts since I didn't even know I wasn't supposed to be there. Apparently she didn't want Sabrina and her sister to go trick or treating with anyone outside of the family (for whatever reason).

How was I supposed to know? NO ONE TOLD ME. Not even Sabrina!

Back to the story, Sabrina called me the next day (today) and asked if I still wanted to go to the show. I said no since I was uncomfortable with it now that I know how much her mom dislikes me. Plus, I was busy and didn't feel like going out anymore.

It reminds me a lot of Eva and when her parents did not want us to hang out. Am I right? It seems like things are coming back in other forms, like a rebirth of events almost. Weird.

I'm still wondering though what made her mom decide to let me come, even if I said no, I wonder why her mom changed her mind. By the sounds of it she really didn't like me and wanted nothing to do with me.

The Cycle Continues

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I was actually typing up a paper for school but I'm so angry thinking about it that I have to blog.

AGAIN, today, Sabrina left me all alone at lunch. I sat with a girl that I'm "sorta friends" with but it's really awkward and she's insanely shy at lunch so I was basically alone.

Sabrina (to make it more clear, I'll just refer to her as The Bitch) saved me a seat, along with a seat for the awkward friend I just mentioned, but by the time I got there everyone had taken the seats. No big deal, lunch is crowded, I completely understand.

But then I notice that as my awkward friend and I are going to find another place to sit together, because that is what friends are supposed to do, I notice The Bitch stays seated. Not a care in the world.

Forget that your "best friend" of three years is about to sit, in embarrassment, alone, with some girl she barely knows while you laugh your fat ass off with some guys on the crowded side of the table.

I really don't understand her! In a heartbeat I would pick up my shit and find somewhere the BOTH of us can sit together but instead she just lets me go and doesn't come with me.

I do not understand her constant need to be the center of attention or her need to always be surrounded by people. Why the hell does she care so much about what other people think?

I don't feel like I can be friends with someone who doesn't treat me the same way I would treat her. Sometimes I just want to punch her in the face. SO annoying!

This is supposed to be my best friend.

Why is it such a big deal? Because you don't abandon your best friend like that. You don't make her feel like an outcast, you don't let her sit alone at school, you don't embarrass her like that. You don't make her hate lunch because she knows damn well she will, once again, be left out. You don't do that. It's complete bullshit.

That bitch is not getting away with it this time. I will not sit around and feel sorry for myself. I am going to be saying something about it tomorrow. And how much you want to bet that she's going to make it about her and bring in some kind of attitude?

I'll let you know what happens.

Life

These past few weeks that I haven't posted because my computer was down and I had no easy access to internet.

Unfortunately you missed my birthday and I didn't get to write a post for it.

My birthday was of course, boring. I didn't hang out with friends, I didn't get presents, I wasn't bombarded with hugs and kisses. None of that. Instead we went to the a Chinese buffet a week before.

I didn't feel special or anything like that, just another day.

However now I am 16 years old. Yes, 1-6. 

Crazy right? I started this blog in 8th grade, I'm in the 10th grade now and I am SIXTEEN!

It's nice, I can legally drive now (once I actually get my license).

Last week we had a guest speaker in Health class that spoke to us about sex, STD's, and why abstinence is the best choice to stay protected.

I finally felt comfortable talking about it. The guest speaker was a woman who actually waited until marriage to have sex. Her son is also abstinent and is currently engaged (he's still waiting by the way).

So often people rush into sex that I forget that there are people who actually do wait.

I mostly wanted to wait for religious and personal reasons but now I plan to wait because those statistics for STD's sound really scary and I want to avoid that as much as possible.

Not to mention that I will most likely get emotionally attached to whoever I have sex with and I would rather not be single after that happens.

Sabrina and I are fine by the way. I really do feel that I'm part to blame for the weirdness between us. I get really shy when we sit down at lunch next to Derek but then it's way better when he isn't around and now I don't feel like she totally hates me. I have been acting awkward and quiet and it makes sense that she wouldn't know what to say to me.

School has been great too. I got a 95 on my chemistry test and I brought my 77 to an 84 in geometry so all is good. I'm starting to understand chem a lot more and I'm learning better study skills for all my classes.


I never ended up going to conditioning either. Sabrina is sick and I didn't want to go alone so I'm going to wait until she feels better so we can be there together.


This year is going to be a long one but I'm going to make sure it's a good one.

10 Days and Counting....

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Wow, it has already been 2 weeks of school? I don't even remember what the first day was like now.

I've been enjoying school, this year is already very tough but I'm trying to get my act together early on so that I don't struggle later. The teachers are not joking and will not personally help you unless you request it. I imagine this is what college will feel like.

Sabrina and I are becoming better friends. At the begining of school we barely talked at lunch. Two days in a row we didn't even sit next to each other. She wouldn't save me a seat and didn't really give a shit whether or not I had to sit alone.

Last time I checked, that's not how a best friend was supposed to act. If that were me and I saw that the table was full and she would have to sit alone I would immediately pick up my tray and find a place for us to sit together. Honestly, I would not have hesitated.

Anyway, she called me one day after school apologizing for completely ignoring me during lunch. She made some lame excuses but I do think her apology was legitimate. I think she really meant it, especially since after that talk we have been sitting together, even if we were alone. Sabrina's a good friend, she just gets caught up in the wrong mess sometimes. 

Track conditioning (early practice before season starts) has already started. Actually it started on the first day of school! Insane right? I haven't gone yet but I'm hoping to begin going next week. I think that would be a great idea since I need to get back into shape before the new indoor track season begins.

Remember how I said that I saw Sean in the hallways a few times and how incredibly awkward it was? Well, ever since then it's been like he is avoiding me. If I ever do see him he's either walking really quickly or in the other direction. We obviously cross paths while changing classes, I don't see why he has to make it a big deal. He's probably finding every way possible to go an alternative way just so we don't have to awkwardly pass each other in the hallway.

I don't know, I'm probably over thinking it.

So far that's all that's happened at school. Tomorrow's another Monday so I'm sure I'll have something to report later in the week.

30 Days Challenge- Day 27

Wow, I'm so behind with this challenge. Better late than never right?

Three good things that have happened in the past 30 days.

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Well, one, I won an online contest! It was a contest where I had create an original design and submit it to the judges. You have no idea how surprised I was when I heard that I won.

Two, I saw this picture...

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 Anyone else find a little body hair on a guy extremely sexy?

Third thing? Well, it's hard to top a shirtless Shemar Moore but I'd have to say its the fact that I've been speaking to my friends more regularly. I've gone a whole month without talking or seeing my best friends Eva and Sabrina so it's good to get in touch with them again.

P.S. Quote Friday will be back this week. I've been slacking on that too. Sorry!

Hurry Up or Wait My Turn?

As always, I'm talking about sex, abstinence, and my friends. What's one more time, right?

Today I woke up to my friend Sabrina messaging me and telling me every little detail of her date the day before. She's been talking to this guy for months, let's call him Ben, and they finally met up at the movies. From what she told me, they did not watch that movie at all!

Apparently they were touching all over each other. She gave him a handjob, she got rubbed all over the place and squeezed all over the place, and they made out for half the movie. I'm not upset about it or jealous or anything.

Just feeling pressured.

I hate to make this about me, but what the hell, this is my blog. I feel like I need to jump on the bandwagon of girls with little to no self-respect.

I mean, don't you want to get to know the guy first and see if he's just looking for some girl to satisfy him or if he actually cares about you and likes you? I don't like to regret anything. Therefore I don't want to do something I'm not ready for.

Not only am I scared of her heart getting broken by this player, but I'm also scared she will do something she will regret, or worse--get an STD or get pregnant. I know for a fact they plan to have sex since he's a guy and she's one of those dumb, horny girls on that same wagon.

I know I'm speaking horribly of my friend and if she ever saw this she wouldn't ever speak to me again, but I can't help but feel the way I feel. I was raised different than this and will always stand by those values.

And it's not just Sabrina and Ben, but it's Eva and Jackass, and a million of my other friends that are having sex. Even Sean has talked about his sexual relationships! I really did and do plan on waiting, but I just feel like eventually sex is all my friends will talk about and I won't be able to relate to them anymore. Not only that but I'll feel awkward and left out. Almost like I need to find some random guy to have sex with just so I can carry a conversation with them.

It's time like these where I feel so confused. And I don't like to talk to anyone about it because no one understands. They just tell me "sex isn't that big of a deal, calm down". Yeah, maybe not to you, or the majority of the world, but to me it is and always will be. It's just hard for me to understand how little people care.

And to answer your question, yes, I will be "waiting my turn". I don't plan on losing my virginity until I'm ready.

A Person of Interest

I was invited by my coaches to travel to South Carolina for the 19th Annual Taco Bell Classic Track Meet. It's one of the nation's biggest track meets so of course I was excited to go!
We drove in a charter bus for about 6-7 hours until we got to SC and checked into our hotels.

The meet was on Friday and finals were on Saturday. I competed both days but didn't place for any of them. I made some personal records, so my times were good, but it was a super competitive meet.

Anyway, on Friday, after we competed in the trials, we went back to our hotel rooms for the night. The girls and boys stayed in the same hotel so it wasn't hard to sneak boys into our room. So guess who came to our room? Yep, Derek and his friend. Sabrina was one of my roommates and it surprised me how comfortable I was.

www.losangelesbuscharter.com

Derek and I are slowly becoming friends and Sabrina and I have gone past the whole make out thing. I think I have grown to realize I cannot have every guy I want and I just need to wait for the right one to come along. If Derek makes Sabrina happy--it's whatever, really. We just hung out for a couple hours, just having fun and joking around. It was a really amazing night.

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Now, for the best part of the story; the bus ride home. We competed Saturday then made our way back home. I fell asleep for about an hour and woke up to Sabrina and Sean (a guy on my track team that I have the hots for) sitting next to me. I was about to die when I realized it was him. He is beyond sexy and has an amazing personality! I don't know how it happened but we just started talking and kept talking for a good 2 or 3 hours, maybe more. We talked about pet peeves, obsessions, ourselves, each other, even past relationships. The most random of things--we talked about. We joked around, laughed, and just had fun!
I can tell you one thing, Sean is one of the nicest, sweetest, funniest guys I know.

I wish I could tell you more about him, but that was literally the most I have ever talked to him. We really didn't know each other until then.

Now I'm trying this new thing where I crush on a guy and take it slow. I don't want to end up falling for him and then getting my heart broken like I did with Derek. I need to give it time and let nature take it's course. 

If someone told me that Sean and I would become friends this weekend, I wouldn't believe it. But it happened, and I love it!

A Day In The Life of Minty

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I really don't have anything to post about, but I miss posting. Now that I have a little time I think I'll walk you through my day.

Today was boring ole' "picture day" at school. At my school, they never tell us anything. We could be having yearbook pictures made and they literally tell us two class periods before we take our pictures.
So if you needed to get a hair cut, or get your hair done, or possibly do your makeup--forget it!

After pictures, we had to go to P.E. Now, I'm not sure if I've mentioned my PE teacher or not, but she's insane. She treats us as if we are in some boot camp. She'll walk in and be like "get in your lines, 15 pushups, 15 jumping jacks, 40 sit ups, and a five minute run!!"

Like, what the h#ll do you think you're doing here? If I was training for some sort of marathon, sure, I'll do it. But this is PE. Stop taking your job so d@mn serious.

And I honestly don't know why I refuse to type out the cuss words. It just doesn't seem right or something...anyway, after PE was lunch. Like normal I sit with my friends including Sabrina and Eva. Nothing different today.

I was supposed to go to a track meet today, but since I'm injured I decided I'll skip the JV meet and hopefully go to the Varsity meet Friday-Saturday.

Hmm...what else? I had math as my last period. My math teacher is a whole different story which I'll make a separate post about later.
He's got a really nice ass. So that's the highlight of that class period. Anytime he turns around to write on the board. My eyes shift down. Can't help it if he has a baseball player's butt.

So in all, it was a pretty normal day. Nothing special happened, nothing exciting.

Oh wait, did I tell you my friend Eva broke up with Jackass? I'll explain later.

I Couldn't Live Without My Best Friends

"Fresh Squeezed"

"Make Mine Lime"

"Too Rich for You"

"Nicole...Spotted"

"Virtuous Violet"

"Party in the Penthouse"

I love my bestfriend Sabrina. She bought me all these lovely nail polishes for Christmas. I have a huge obsession with nail polish! At $7.99 each, I am very thankful for this amazing gift. I now have 48 nail polishes in my collection.

 

I call him Oxie. This is the green "Ox" Uglydoll. Oxie is absolutely adorable. I have been obsessed with him ever since I got him about 9 hours ago. He's so soft and cuddly. Thank you Eva, so much. I have just found my new love.

I'm so glad to have friends like these. Friends who will go out and spend money on me to make sure I have something to make me happy. I'm so thankful to have Eva and Sabrina in my life. I love them both so much and my life wouldn't be the same without them. Of course I bought them presents too. But I don't think it meant the same to them. This may be the only good thing I get for Christmas. Money is too tight this year.

You should be thankful for your friends. It's hard to find good ones.
Thank God I have two always by my side.

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"A true friend is one who thinks you are a good egg even if you are half-cracked." 

-Author Unknown

My Halloween Night 2010

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Eva, Eva's boyfriend, Sabrina, Sabrina's sister Samantha, Samantha's boyfriend and I all decided we wanted to go trick or treating on Saturday. For hours we planned where we would meet, what time, and how long we would stay. We had to go through so much to get it all figured out, I almost cried it was so confusing.
So finally we worked it out and I got my costume on, did my makeup really pretty and headed out the door.

I was to meet Eva at her house so we could meet with the others in our meeting spot. Once I got to her house, it turns out that Eva can no longer go because her boyfriend Jackass* couldn't make it. She didn't want to go without him.
Either way, she still dropped my off at the original meeting spot and I was just going to have to go trick or treating without her and Jackass.
Soon, we reached Sabrina's house (the meeting spot). We were on our way down the street to start getting our candy when out of no where her mom comes home and starts screaming at us.

I am not exaggerating, she was literally screaming! It was scary actually. She was cussing at me saying I was a dumbass, that my parents were stupid for thinking I could go trick or treating on Saturday when Halloween was Sunday. She also mentioned that I was to never come back to her house again.
I could have slapped her, I really wanted to.

So after screaming at me, Sabrina and her sister, (turns out her boyfriend couldn't come either) she took me home.
The whole 15 minutes in the car with that woman, she was still yelling at us. Repeating the same thing over and over. It made me angry that I couldn't yell back at her since she was an adult and it also made me angry that Sabrina has to live with her when she is like that.

Because of Sabrina's mom, my night was ruined. I couldn't go trick or treating, nor could I even go back to Sabrina's house.
I eventually got over it, but I don't think I have ever been so mad in my life!

* name has been changed

"I feel pretty, oh so pretty!"

Today at school, I was talking to my best friend Sabrina, (aka, the best friend who made out with my crush), and she told me that one of her guy friends thinks I'm cute! How sweet is that? I love getting compliments from guys. I feel great about myself right now!
I'd also love to get to know this guy. He's not too bad looking himself!

Also, I want to let you in on a little update; today was my 17th day of school as a 9th grader. The first two days this week were horrible and long. But yesterday and today were amazing! I've had so much fun in all my classes and we just got a seating chart in math and I love it! Tomorrow we have our first pep-rally of the year. I'm hoping it'll be fun!

33 Mondays and 164 school days to go...

song in post title called "I Feel Pretty" by Westside Story