Goodbye...

Today, I was supposed to go to the zoo with my best friend of five years, Eva.
But her parents said no and that they don't want us to hang out anymore...EVER.
So pretty much, after crying and wondering why this is happening, I decided that my life ends here. Ive lost my house, money, friends, most of my family. Now all I have to live for is God and the rest of my family. That should be good enough, but it just doesn't feel like it. I can make new friends. But it just wont be the same...I'm hoping and praying that I can get through this, and that I can have my best friend back.

I guess I can forget all about the beach trip now...

Finally, a conversation.

I told myself that I wouldn't post more than two or three times in a week. But I HAD to post today!

It's about Derek.(remember our talk about the nickname).
Today, at school, we talked. About me liking him, and him making out with my best friend.
He said that he didn't like her and that he wouldn't go out with her. Then I told him that I felt bad for her because she thinks he is in love with her. I told him that he should tell her, because she cant just go around thinking that.
Then the conversation turned to me, and how i liked him. Apparently I was "obsessed" with him. According to Derek one day I am going to have a boyfriend and become so obsessed with him that I wont stop calling him, and texting him and he will end up breaking up with me. Really? Because I rarely talk to Derek.Maybe that's why he never wanted me, he thought I was obsessed with him? I mean, my best friend that he made out with isn't even prettier than me, plus she's not what I'd call "skinny", haha. So that has to be the only reason why he would kiss her and not me. Right?
For the most part, I really enjoyed having a conversation with him. Thats all Ive ever wanted. No matter how pathetic it sounds.

Anyway, we will have to get back to this, this post is getting to be too long. Bye girls!

"Derek"

Remember that guy that Ive been crushing on? Well, I decided to finally go ahead and tell you about him:
His name is Marlon, he's athletic (plays Basketball, Football, and runs Track for our school and the summer track program.), nice, funny, hot, and well...he even dresses really good. He has the most gorgeous smile you will ever see. Every time he flashes that smile, a little part inside of me melts. And his body.Don't even get me started. In one word...sexy!
But Lately, he's been giving me a lot of mixed signals. I guess he hasn't really, but since I have liked him for 2 years now, to me he has. So every time he says anything to me, or smiles at me or waves to me...I freak out! I'll get my best friend and Ill tell her all about it.
He doesnt like me. If he did he would have asked me out when he figured out I liked him last year. It sucks really.
Then,last week on Thursday, he made out with my best friend. She didn't even tell me. She tried to keep it a secret but everyone was talking about it. Of course I figured out. So yesterday I confronted her and told her that I was pissed. One, she didn't even bother to tell me, and two, she made out with Marlon. After a long fight about it all, she apologized and we made up.
Now, I know it's stupid to get mad about it, but you have NO IDEA how much I like him.I know it isn't meant to be, but it's just so hard to accept it.

I'll probably update a lot about him, so from now on we'll call him "Derek". (Hence the post title) Because in case, for some weird reason, he ever comes across this site, I don't want his name to catch his attention. I wouldn't want him reading all of this.
*I'll go back and tag all the other posts that mention Derek.*

Stupid Drama, please go away.

So there's this girl on my track team who thinks I ate her whole box of cheez its, which I didnt.I will admit I took a handful and ate the crumbs, but everyone else ate a hell of alot more than I did. So now she goes on her facebook status and puts that 'I love everybody on our track team except (my name)'s hungry ass. Im like, calm down, it's just food, go to the grocery store and buy a new box you fat ass. I was upset at first, but who cares, shes in 7th grade (we have three months of school left) it's not a big deal.