The Cycle Continues

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I was actually typing up a paper for school but I'm so angry thinking about it that I have to blog.

AGAIN, today, Sabrina left me all alone at lunch. I sat with a girl that I'm "sorta friends" with but it's really awkward and she's insanely shy at lunch so I was basically alone.

Sabrina (to make it more clear, I'll just refer to her as The Bitch) saved me a seat, along with a seat for the awkward friend I just mentioned, but by the time I got there everyone had taken the seats. No big deal, lunch is crowded, I completely understand.

But then I notice that as my awkward friend and I are going to find another place to sit together, because that is what friends are supposed to do, I notice The Bitch stays seated. Not a care in the world.

Forget that your "best friend" of three years is about to sit, in embarrassment, alone, with some girl she barely knows while you laugh your fat ass off with some guys on the crowded side of the table.

I really don't understand her! In a heartbeat I would pick up my shit and find somewhere the BOTH of us can sit together but instead she just lets me go and doesn't come with me.

I do not understand her constant need to be the center of attention or her need to always be surrounded by people. Why the hell does she care so much about what other people think?

I don't feel like I can be friends with someone who doesn't treat me the same way I would treat her. Sometimes I just want to punch her in the face. SO annoying!

This is supposed to be my best friend.

Why is it such a big deal? Because you don't abandon your best friend like that. You don't make her feel like an outcast, you don't let her sit alone at school, you don't embarrass her like that. You don't make her hate lunch because she knows damn well she will, once again, be left out. You don't do that. It's complete bullshit.

That bitch is not getting away with it this time. I will not sit around and feel sorry for myself. I am going to be saying something about it tomorrow. And how much you want to bet that she's going to make it about her and bring in some kind of attitude?

I'll let you know what happens.

10 Days and Counting....

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Wow, it has already been 2 weeks of school? I don't even remember what the first day was like now.

I've been enjoying school, this year is already very tough but I'm trying to get my act together early on so that I don't struggle later. The teachers are not joking and will not personally help you unless you request it. I imagine this is what college will feel like.

Sabrina and I are becoming better friends. At the begining of school we barely talked at lunch. Two days in a row we didn't even sit next to each other. She wouldn't save me a seat and didn't really give a shit whether or not I had to sit alone.

Last time I checked, that's not how a best friend was supposed to act. If that were me and I saw that the table was full and she would have to sit alone I would immediately pick up my tray and find a place for us to sit together. Honestly, I would not have hesitated.

Anyway, she called me one day after school apologizing for completely ignoring me during lunch. She made some lame excuses but I do think her apology was legitimate. I think she really meant it, especially since after that talk we have been sitting together, even if we were alone. Sabrina's a good friend, she just gets caught up in the wrong mess sometimes. 

Track conditioning (early practice before season starts) has already started. Actually it started on the first day of school! Insane right? I haven't gone yet but I'm hoping to begin going next week. I think that would be a great idea since I need to get back into shape before the new indoor track season begins.

Remember how I said that I saw Sean in the hallways a few times and how incredibly awkward it was? Well, ever since then it's been like he is avoiding me. If I ever do see him he's either walking really quickly or in the other direction. We obviously cross paths while changing classes, I don't see why he has to make it a big deal. He's probably finding every way possible to go an alternative way just so we don't have to awkwardly pass each other in the hallway.

I don't know, I'm probably over thinking it.

So far that's all that's happened at school. Tomorrow's another Monday so I'm sure I'll have something to report later in the week.

BYOC

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How much makeup do you wear daily, how long does it take you and are you loyal to certain brands?

I don't wear too much makeup. At least in my opinion. No one can really say you're wearing "too much makeup." Every body has a different preference. As for brands, I just buy what I see.

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Repeat question: I’m going to pick a person not knowing your relationship with them (or even if there is one) and you try to describe this person in 5 words/short sentences.  

Your oldest paternal aunt.

It really sucks that I'm going to have to skip this question because I hardly know my oldest paternal aunt. It really is a shame.

Tell me about your first real kiss and how old you were.

I was in the first grade and I had a crush on a boy named Timothy. I guess he liked me too because every day during recess/free time we would go behind a bookshelf and makeout the whole time. I don't remember much but I do remember how amazing it was! That's the only thing I remember too...he was a pretty damn good kisser for his age.

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If I gave you $1000.00 and told you that you had to give it to a charity – which charity would you choose and why?

I would choose any charity that would help get care to children and teens that have come out of abusive homes and relationships and have no place to stay, no food to eat and no money to take care of themselves. I'm not familiar with names but any organization that can do that can have my money.

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Repeat question: Summarize your week in blog land and in real life.

Blog life has been great! Although I'm not blogging every day, I really am enjoying posting regularly. Especially now that school has started.

Real life, very tiring. I am exhausted after running around that big school trying to get to class on time! It's a workout in itself. I've been seeing Sean a lot around the halls and its insanely awkward. Probably not for him, but definitely for me. It's just weird. If he knew how much I've been thinking about him over the summer, he'd be feeling awkward too. I'm trying to forget about him and hoping we can be friends once track starts but for now I want to avoid him as much as possible.

2 Days and Counting...

I really thought I would hate high school.

I thought I would be lost at the school and not be able to find any of my classes  but that's not the case. I mean, some classes have been harder to find than others but knowing the room number really helps.

I'm actually having a lot of fun here. I was already in high school but it didn't really feel like it. Being at a freshman campus was not fun at all. Now I'm at "the big school" with the seniors and juniors and it's so exciting!

I feel like I'm growing up and maturing.

I've made a pact with myself this year that I was going to crawl out of my shell, be more confident and be more outgoing than last year, especially since last year I wasn't feeling very confident due to the dreadful Wisconsin trip.

So far, so good. I'm showing personality, I'm being more outgoing and I'm trying to have a little more fun while I can.

I really hope this year will be great!

P.S. Guess who I saw in the halls? Yup, I passed Sean several times in the hallway or going up the stairs. I even saw him in the courtyard just talking to his friends. He did not say one word to me, he didn't even look at me. But I know that he knew I was there. We were pretty close to each other since the halls were so full. It hurt my feelings to be honest, I guess I should have saw it coming. It's not like we're best friends or something.

Another New Beginning

So...school starts tomorrow.

The first day of school is always tiring but I can't believe how excited I am!

Last year I was a nervous wreck. Literally shaking as I walked onto the bus. Now I'm excited, still a little nervous but mainly looking forward to it.

Isn't it crazy how fast time is going by? I started this blog in the middle of eighth grade and now I'm going into 10th, about to be a sophomore in high school.

I never understood what people meant by "it feels like just yesterday" but now I do! I completely understand. It really does feel like just yesterday that 8th grade ended and I was sitting on the bus about to go home from the last day of school. Now I'm sitting here getting ready for the first day of 10th grade.

I can't even explain it.

After sophomore year, I'll have two years left of school, only TWO!

Then I'm off to college and living my life as an adult. I'll eventually be cut off by my parents and living on my own.

It's scary to think about but its the truth and I'll soon be living a life like that.

Track is also something to look forward to, I'm really excited about it.

I'm just going to enjoy my last few years of high school as much as I can, I would hate to waste it by wishing it was over and then looking back and wishing I was more relaxed and having fun.

Let's hope for a great first day and even better school year.

I'll keep you updated.