How Minty Got Her Groove Back

federico stevanin | FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Let's start this post off by saying that  I am out of shape. Really, out of shape.

The kind of out of shape where you literally get tired walking up a few flights of stairs. 

But today I remembered something I said to my track coach a day before Winter break: "I will."

I will...will what?

Coach H. asked me to get in shape for the 4x2 race when school starts up again. I of course agreed. I have been wanting to get back into running after my diagnosis of a stress fracture (in my ankle) a few months back. Trust me when I say that is one of the worst injuries a runner can have.

So seven weeks later I stand face-to-face with my coach, promising him that I will do my best to get back into shape for track. 

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Well, Winter Break came and after a week in I started feeling guilty for doing absolutely nothing. No running, no nothing. Just being a couch potato. 

I went to the mall Friday and what do you know? I saw my other coach, Coach R. at the mall. A sign maybe? I'd like to think so. 

So today I set out a mission, to go out running. For as long as I can stand (literally). My anxiety almost took the best of me but I forced myself and reminded myself of the two words I said to Coach H.: "I will."

Andy Newson | FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I will work out.

I will try.

I will do my best.

I will get in shape.

I will not give up.

I will be the best version of myself that I can be.

"I will" doesn't just mean running, it goes for all aspects of my life and today's epiphany made me realize that.

Today I faced my fears, beat my anxiety, and went out running. 

The fact that I was only out for exactly ten minutes? Well, it's the thought that counts.

Conscience Overwhelms Anxiety

Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net / Andy Newson

I went out running yesterday!

I know, what does this have to do with anything?

Well I am super proud of myself.

Normally I chicken out and worry too much about what other people are going to think but this time I just ignored all of that anxiety.

My coach told me that I would be running the 800 meter dash/ 4x800 meter dash so I knew that I would have to step it up and run a mile a day during Winter break.

I knew I'd feel guilty if I didn't exercise so I went out and ran.

I only ran for about 20 minutes before I got tired and super anxious and finally went in.

I don't know why but I always get nervous about going outside. I feel like people will look out their window or drive by and think "what is this little girl doing running around like this?"

Of course it is perfectly normal to go out running but because I'm a teen I feel like people will only judge me.

It's stupid, I know. I even discussed this with my therapist and he recommended that I meditate before running to reduce my anxiety.

I haven't tried it yet since I have a really bad cold and can hardly breathe just going up the stairs.

Anyway, I'm really, super proud of myself. I went out and ran and for the most part, didn't care what people thought.