Monday, October 31, 2011

Introducing...My 30 Day Blog Challenge

I know I really failed my last 30 Day Challenge but I think it's because I don't really like any of the questions/challenges.

So, I created an all new challenge for myself! This way I'll actually want to post everyday.

It's going to be simple, easy, and best of all, fun.

  1. A controversial topic and which side you are on.
  2. Your favorite and least favorite celebrity.
  3. Your biggest fear.
  4. A weird habit.
  5. Something no one would guess about you.
  6. Top five favorite movies.
  7. A phrase or saying you don't like.
  8. Your best and worst high school memory.
  9. What's number one on your bucket list?
  10. Describe your perfect life.
  11. Christmas or Thanksgiving?
  12. Another weird habit.
  13. Three pet peeves.
  14. Worst thing you've ever eaten.
  15. Your best and worst boyfriend or girlfriend.
  16. Something you recently did that you are very proud of.
  17. Best thing you have ever done for someone.
  18. Something you're craving.
  19. Something you recently did that you are not very proud of.
  20. Favorite candy, food, drink and restaurant.
  21. Dog or cat?
  22. Something big going on in your life right now.
  23. Five things you've been obsessed with lately.
  24. A secret not even your best friends know.
  25. Three more pet peeves.
  26. A picture.
  27. Do you believe in supernatural things?
  28. Something you're worrying about.
  29. Five goals in your life.
  30. Pick a different celebrity that you would: kiss, have sex with, marry, and date
Are you ready? First post starts Tuesday.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Deja Vu?

First things first, if you haven't already, read this post from last Halloween before you read this actual post. Otherwise you will be totally lost on what is going on.

Okay so last night Sabrina called and asked me if I wanted to go out with her tomorrow (tomorrow now meaning today). Her mom had an extra ticket for a show and allowed her to bring a friend.

I, of course, said yes. I had nothing better to do and it sounded fun.

While we were on the line her mom called from work to ask if Sabrina had decided who she was going to bring. When Sabrina told her it was me she immediately said no and that she didn't want me to come. When Sabrina asked why her mom said that "we will talk about it when I get home" and she hung up.

Sabrina and I stayed on the phone about an hour after talking about why she wouldn't want me to come. Only one thing crossed our mind, last Halloween.

Remember how I said her mom was yelling at me? Well apparently she is still upset about that night.

So when her mom got home Saturday night Sabrina, once again, asked her why she didn't want me to come.

Her mom would never give her a straight answer except that she didn't like me and didn't want me there.

She doesn't even know me! The time she really met me was that Halloween night and that barely counts since I didn't even know I wasn't supposed to be there. Apparently she didn't want Sabrina and her sister to go trick or treating with anyone outside of the family (for whatever reason).

How was I supposed to know? NO ONE TOLD ME. Not even Sabrina!

Back to the story, Sabrina called me the next day (today) and asked if I still wanted to go to the show. I said no since I was uncomfortable with it now that I know how much her mom dislikes me. Plus, I was busy and didn't feel like going out anymore.

It reminds me a lot of Eva and when her parents did not want us to hang out. Am I right? It seems like things are coming back in other forms, like a rebirth of events almost. Weird.

I'm still wondering though what made her mom decide to let me come, even if I said no, I wonder why her mom changed her mind. By the sounds of it she really didn't like me and wanted nothing to do with me.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

The Conclusion
Remember Tuesday when I posted about Sabrina and how angry I was at her? Well once again, like the cycle has done before, everything is back to normal.

I didn't get a chance to talk to her about it and tell her how angry I was. I forgot to. Once I remembered it was too late. I mean, I guess it wasn't but who randomly gets angry with their friends after they have been having a good conversation for minutes? Not this girl.

I did, however, mentally tell myself that I wasn't going to refer to her as my best friend until I truly felt that she was. For now, friend will do.

I think by constantly telling myself we were best friends I was just hoping that one day it would actually feel like we were. But it doesn't it feels like we are two people who know a lot about each other but are not very close.

That's not a best friend in my book.

To me, a best friend is Eva. Someone, regardless of how many times I get angry with her, who is respectful of my feelings and actually acknowledges them rather than feeling that she is right all of the time. Someone who not only cares for me but cares for our friendship. Someone I can completely trust, with anything, no matter what. Someone I love, for no reason except that she is that amazing. Someone who I couldn't live without.

It's a shame that not all of those things describe Sabrina.

Until she gives me a reason to think otherwise, Sabrina is just a friend to me.

Friday, October 21, 2011


It's Just Me, Drazil & Sheniqua didn't post a "Bring Your Own Crazy" post today so I'm choosing to do an old one that I missed out on weeks ago.
If you were a character on Friends, who would you be and why?
I would be Monica. We have a few things in common, like the fact that we never give up without a fight--and a good one, the fact that we like things in an organized and almost perfect manner. Also she is strong and independent and I love that about her.
If you weren't in your current career what other career do you think you would have done?
Well, since I'm 16, I don't have a career right now. However, I do want to be a social worker once I get out of college. I would love to have a job where I can help people's lives and save the from the life they don't want to live in.
What did you want to be when you grew up when you were 6?
A singer! For the longest time I wanted to be a singer. I took singing lessons for years and competed in many singing competitions up until I moved from my childhood home to where I live now. I really loved to sing and I thought I was amazing at it! I enjoyed it a lot. Soon, I got tired of that and wanted to be a ballet dancer, and then an actress, and then a fashion designer. Now, I would never want to be a professional singer, but at the time it was fun to have that dream.

Do you think everyone only has one soulmate or true love? Or are there multiple people for everyone?
I believe that there is more than one person for everyone. You could fall in love with someone and if the relationship ends you can always find love with someone else. I don't believe there are rules for love and that everyone only has one soulmate.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

The Cycle Continues
I was actually typing up a paper for school but I'm so angry thinking about it that I have to blog.

AGAIN, today, Sabrina left me all alone at lunch. I sat with a girl that I'm "sorta friends" with but it's really awkward and she's insanely shy at lunch so I was basically alone.

Sabrina (to make it more clear, I'll just refer to her as The Bitch) saved me a seat, along with a seat for the awkward friend I just mentioned, but by the time I got there everyone had taken the seats. No big deal, lunch is crowded, I completely understand.

But then I notice that as my awkward friend and I are going to find another place to sit together, because that is what friends are supposed to do, I notice The Bitch stays seated. Not a care in the world.

Forget that your "best friend" of three years is about to sit, in embarrassment, alone, with some girl she barely knows while you laugh your fat ass off with some guys on the crowded side of the table.

I really don't understand her! In a heartbeat I would pick up my shit and find somewhere the BOTH of us can sit together but instead she just lets me go and doesn't come with me.

I do not understand her constant need to be the center of attention or her need to always be surrounded by people. Why the hell does she care so much about what other people think?

I don't feel like I can be friends with someone who doesn't treat me the same way I would treat her. Sometimes I just want to punch her in the face. SO annoying!

This is supposed to be my best friend.

Why is it such a big deal? Because you don't abandon your best friend like that. You don't make her feel like an outcast, you don't let her sit alone at school, you don't embarrass her like that. You don't make her hate lunch because she knows damn well she will, once again, be left out. You don't do that. It's complete bullshit.

That bitch is not getting away with it this time. I will not sit around and feel sorry for myself. I am going to be saying something about it tomorrow. And how much you want to bet that she's going to make it about her and bring in some kind of attitude?

I'll let you know what happens.

Friday, October 14, 2011


It's been a while since I've done one of these and they're fun, so let's go. As always, these questions are brought to us by It's Just Me, Drazil and Sheniqua
What's your most favorite noise and your least favorite noise?
My most favorite would be rain. I mean, what else is there? Least favorite is probably the sound of smacking gum. Really? Calm yo mouth down and stop smacking the damn gum!

If you were a character in the movie Grease--who would you be?
The original question says Grease but I'm more familiar with the movie Titanic so I decided to change it. Obviously I would be Rose. It's so romantic to have a guy fall in love with you so much that he would even risk his life for you. It doesn't get cuter than that.
What was the name of your best friend in elementary school? Are you still friends?
Well, my first best friend in elementary school was Asia. She was a drama queen and practically treated me like her child so after about three years of being best friends we naturally grew apart and later she moved away. Around the same time that I first met Asia, I also became best friends with Eva. We are still the best of friends now, I can and will always be able to talk to her about anything. 

Who is your current celebrity crush?
Oh Lord, don't get me started. You know how much I love to gush about my crushes. Right now, I'm drooling over Hugh Jackman. I have a thing for the older celebrities (Ryan Reynolds, Bradley Cooper, Shemar Moore, Anderson Cooper, Robert Downey Jr.--keep in mind that I'm 16) and Hugh is no exception!

First of all...he's Australian, second...the accent, third....his face and smile are gorgeous and fourth...have you seen that body?

I think I've made my point.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011


These past few weeks that I haven't posted because my computer was down and I had no easy access to internet.

Unfortunately you missed my birthday and I didn't get to write a post for it.

My birthday was of course, boring. I didn't hang out with friends, I didn't get presents, I wasn't bombarded with hugs and kisses. None of that. Instead we went to the a Chinese buffet a week before.

I didn't feel special or anything like that, just another day.

However now I am 16 years old. Yes, 1-6. 

Crazy right? I started this blog in 8th grade, I'm in the 10th grade now and I am SIXTEEN!

It's nice, I can legally drive now (once I actually get my license).

Last week we had a guest speaker in Health class that spoke to us about sex, STD's, and why abstinence is the best choice to stay protected.

I finally felt comfortable talking about it. The guest speaker was a woman who actually waited until marriage to have sex. Her son is also abstinent and is currently engaged (he's still waiting by the way).

So often people rush into sex that I forget that there are people who actually do wait.

I mostly wanted to wait for religious and personal reasons but now I plan to wait because those statistics for STD's sound really scary and I want to avoid that as much as possible.

Not to mention that I will most likely get emotionally attached to whoever I have sex with and I would rather not be single after that happens.

Sabrina and I are fine by the way. I really do feel that I'm part to blame for the weirdness between us. I get really shy when we sit down at lunch next to Derek but then it's way better when he isn't around and now I don't feel like she totally hates me. I have been acting awkward and quiet and it makes sense that she wouldn't know what to say to me.

School has been great too. I got a 95 on my chemistry test and I brought my 77 to an 84 in geometry so all is good. I'm starting to understand chem a lot more and I'm learning better study skills for all my classes.

I never ended up going to conditioning either. Sabrina is sick and I didn't want to go alone so I'm going to wait until she feels better so we can be there together.

This year is going to be a long one but I'm going to make sure it's a good one.

Sunday, October 02, 2011

It's Been Too Long

It's been way too long since my last post.

My computer has been down for about a month so please forgive me for not posting.

I'll do a super quick update since it's pretty late right now.

I'm going to my first day of conditioning tomorrow. I've been trying to go for weeks now but I'm just now getting to it. I'm nervous for some reason, I haven't been active since this past May!

Sabrina and I are talking and doing okay but our friendship is still weird. I don't know why she acts the way she does towards me. It's like she doesn't want to talk to me or she's annoyed of me. But when it's just her and me she is totally normal...? It bothers the hell out of me.

What do I do? Talk to her about it? Then she will feel like she has to be all "buddy-buddy" with me since I brought it up.

Anyway, I'm about to go to bed. I'll talk more about this in my next post.