Friday, July 29, 2011
"A friendship can weather most things and thrive in thin soil; but it needs a little mulch of letters and phone calls and small, silly presents every so often - just to save it from drying out completely."

-Pam Brown


It's Just Me, Drazil, and Sheniqua is one of my favorite blogs to read. Every Friday she does BYOC--Bring Your Own Crazy where she makes up a few questions and then answers and encourages us to answer as well.

So I've decided this will become a weekly thing because I don't want to neglect my blog and I enjoy doing these.

Keep in my mind that she creates these questions, but I'm going to re-word a few to keep it a little less confusing for those who aren't readers of her blog (which you should be, it's amazing).

So here we go.
Sun or Rain? Roses or Tulips? Romantic Movie or Comedy?

Sun when I'm awake, rain when I'm going to sleep. I absolutely LOVE falling asleep to rain. Seriously, it's like heaven. So calming and soothing.

Roses for sure. White roses to be exact. So beautiful.When we get married, Shemar Moore and I will happily have white roses at our reception.

Romantic Movie or Comedy? Honestly, I'm a hopeless romantic, so I'd say romantic movie. But I love my romantic comedies so I'll have to cheat on this question.

What's your favorite ice cream flavor?

Oh, well thank you for asking. Cookies and cream is my absolute favorite! I also love Plain Vanilla, French Vanilla Bean and Strawberry ice cream.
Are you a door locker - in your house and car?

Yes. If you have been reading my blog for a while you know I have a huge fear of open doors. Well maybe not fear, but I get super anxious when a door or window is not closed all the way.

Imagine how crazy things would get if I didn't lock the damn doors?
Tell me your "go to remedies" for when you are sick?

If you mean crying, complaining, taking Tylenol, complaining some more, sleeping, crying some more, even more complaining and finally some more Tylenol, then sure, I'd love to tell you.
Repeat question:  Summarize your week in blog land and in real life.

Blog land: I am loving posting again! I haven't regularly posted in a while but I have posted a total of three times this week.

Come have to give me something for that.

Real life: Well, supporters of the "Eva and Minty Friendship" will be happy to hear that we are on speaking terms again. I woke up today with message after message of her telling me that she hasn't given up on our friendship and that she wants to continue being friends. She also told me that it was no one's fault and we're just going to have to get past this.

Thank you! I'm glad she wasn't just ignoring the issue. It was really starting to upset me. Turns out, she was out of town the whole time she wasn't replying.

Registration was also today, we couldn't do it yesterday for some reason so we tried again today and it worked out perfectly. I don't have classes with any of my friends, but I'm okay with that.

I was hoping I'd see Sean, but no such luck. Maybe it's a good thing. After all, it'd just bring back feelings that I'm afraid to feel.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

It's Time To Give Up

A couple days ago Eva messaged me on Facebook saying that we weren't going to be hanging out this weekend and that we could maybe do it later (yeah, I knew that sleepover was never going to happen).

I said okay, told her that I'd be busy this whole week and that we'd have to do it next weekend. Then I added on that I felt we were no longer best friends and that we are both forcing it because we want to be.

I thought it was perfectly reasonable to confess how I've been feeling for a while.

I also mentioned in that same message that I felt that the way I acted in 8th grade (ignoring her and being embarrassed because she was a slut) was the reason why we started to drift away in the first place.

Here I was pouring my guts out, showing my weak side and confessing to her (something I rarely do because I have a fear of appearing weak and helpless) and she clearly didn't give a shit because it's been almost three days and she hasn't called me or replied to the message so we could talk about it.

Now I feel stupid and embarrassed and I might have to see her today at registration and that is the last thing I want to do.

When you have problems with a friend, you don't ignore them and ignore the issue, you talk about it and work it out.

I don't even know why I try. Like I always say, people always give up on me and people always leave my life. I should be used to it by now.

I was stupid and naive to think she would want to work out the problems in our friendship.

I'm done, I'm done trying and I'm done caring.

If she wants to be friends, she'll have to say something to me first because I'm done.

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Lost Friendship

I don't deserve to have Eva as a friend. She has always been there for me and has done twists and turns to keep me happy when I needed it most. But where am I when she needs me?

No where.

I'm just at home, sitting on my ass and being lazy.

Her birthday was last week and only just realized a few days ago. I didn't call her, meet up with her or even get her a gift!

I'm a horrible best friend.

I have known her for almost six years now and I couldn't even remember to dial her phone number and  tell her "Happy Birthday, I love you". Nope, not even that.

And then I thought it would be okay to send her a message on Facebook apologizing and telling her I'd have a gift for her.

Really? That's how I make up for being a shitty friend?

I was shocked, but happy, when she replied and didnt seem upset. Even though I know she was.

I don't know what has happened to me. I've been so lost in life and I really do not know what is going on. I've lost touch with my friends and have to force myself to call them or talk to them.

I want to keep Eva as a friend but now I don't know if she wants to have me as a friend. A friendship has to work on both ends.

We're currently planning a sleepover but I don't know if it's going to work out and I really don't know what it's going to be like if it does. It will be awkward since we dropped from being best friends to just...friends. Or at least that's how I feel.

I feel so horrible. I miss being her friend, I miss the way things used to be, when I wasn't so distant.

I blame the 8th grade. I blame society. I blame school. But maybe I should just be blaming myself.

"Friendship isn't about whom you have known the longest... It's about who came, and never left your side." ~Author Unknown

Tuesday, July 05, 2011

30 Days Challenge- Day 27

Wow, I'm so behind with this challenge. Better late than never right?

Three good things that have happened in the past 30 days.

Well, one, I won an online contest! It was a contest where I had create an original design and submit it to the judges. You have no idea how surprised I was when I heard that I won.

Two, I saw this picture...
 Anyone else find a little body hair on a guy extremely sexy?

Third thing? Well, it's hard to top a shirtless Shemar Moore but I'd have to say its the fact that I've been speaking to my friends more regularly. I've gone a whole month without talking or seeing my best friends Eva and Sabrina so it's good to get in touch with them again.

P.S. Quote Friday will be back this week. I've been slacking on that too. Sorry!