Friday, December 23, 2011

Conscience Overwhelms Anxiety

Image: / Andy Newson
I went out running yesterday!

I know, what does this have to do with anything?

Well I am super proud of myself.

Normally I chicken out and worry too much about what other people are going to think but this time I just ignored all of that anxiety.

My coach told me that I would be running the 800 meter dash/ 4x800 meter dash so I knew that I would have to step it up and run a mile a day during Winter break.

I knew I'd feel guilty if I didn't exercise so I went out and ran.

I only ran for about 20 minutes before I got tired and super anxious and finally went in.

I don't know why but I always get nervous about going outside. I feel like people will look out their window or drive by and think "what is this little girl doing running around like this?"

Of course it is perfectly normal to go out running but because I'm a teen I feel like people will only judge me.

It's stupid, I know. I even discussed this with my therapist and he recommended that I meditate before running to reduce my anxiety.

I haven't tried it yet since I have a really bad cold and can hardly breathe just going up the stairs.

Anyway, I'm really, super proud of myself. I went out and ran and for the most part, didn't care what people thought.

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