How Minty Got Her Groove Back

federico stevanin | FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Let's start this post off by saying that  I am out of shape. Really, out of shape.

The kind of out of shape where you literally get tired walking up a few flights of stairs. 

But today I remembered something I said to my track coach a day before Winter break: "I will."

I will...will what?

Coach H. asked me to get in shape for the 4x2 race when school starts up again. I of course agreed. I have been wanting to get back into running after my diagnosis of a stress fracture (in my ankle) a few months back. Trust me when I say that is one of the worst injuries a runner can have.

So seven weeks later I stand face-to-face with my coach, promising him that I will do my best to get back into shape for track. 

piyato | FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Well, Winter Break came and after a week in I started feeling guilty for doing absolutely nothing. No running, no nothing. Just being a couch potato. 

I went to the mall Friday and what do you know? I saw my other coach, Coach R. at the mall. A sign maybe? I'd like to think so. 

So today I set out a mission, to go out running. For as long as I can stand (literally). My anxiety almost took the best of me but I forced myself and reminded myself of the two words I said to Coach H.: "I will."

Andy Newson | FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I will work out.

I will try.

I will do my best.

I will get in shape.

I will not give up.

I will be the best version of myself that I can be.

"I will" doesn't just mean running, it goes for all aspects of my life and today's epiphany made me realize that.

Today I faced my fears, beat my anxiety, and went out running. 

The fact that I was only out for exactly ten minutes? Well, it's the thought that counts.

30 Day Challenge: Day 3

What happened? I was doing so good with the challenge! I'm going to set this post back a day and pretend I posted it on time. (:

http://www.topyaps.com

Your biggest fear.

I am so afraid of heights, it ain't even funny.

I know people say that all the time but I'm actually being serious, not just being cliche.

Whenever I'm going upstairs to to my 3rd period class (on the third floor of my school) I get so afraid that someone will accidentally push me over the railing and I will fall and die. It would be a fast fall too (therefore causing more harm) especially since my backpack has to be an extra twenty pounds on me.

Even when I'm at the mall with friends or family. I hate being too close to the railing because I am afraid of falling somehow. I don't know why but I always see the bad things before I see the good. As soon as I'm too close for comfort I quickly walk to the other side or as far away as I can get really.

My friends seem to think it's funny since the mall is only two stories high. For me, it's two stories that I could fall off of and seriously hurt myself!

I think I've made it pretty clear how afraid I am of heights.

Lying and Flooding

Who would have thought those two things would be in one post?

Let's start with the lying. Just two days ago, on Wednesday, Eva called me to go hang out. Of course it was short notice and I had no time to get ready. Not to mention I had no ride and no money. So we didn't go to the mall like she wanted.

But later she wanted me to come over to her house. I didn't really want to because I didn't want to miss So You think You Can Dance which officially started that day. I lied to her instead and told her that my mom was coming to pick us up so we could go take graduation pictures for my sister and brother.

She believed me and we sat and talked for a while on the phone. I later hung up claiming I had to go get ready for the pictures. Another lie.

I don't know what's worse, the fact that I lied or the fact that I didn't feel bad about it?

I'm guessing Karma had it coming for me when it stormed last night. There was so much hail and an incredible wind coming through. My back yard also flooded. I was horrified and so scared for my life. The storm wasn't even that bad, but the thought of a flood was so bad. Thankfully it didn't come up too high and the storm passed within two hours.

Here's a picture of what it looked like:

But I have a feeling that this was some kind of message by the dear Karma.

Thank you, I get your point now.

Lying is bad.

Where Will Life Take Me?

So I'm on Spring Break and I have nothing to do, nowhere to go, and no one to talk to.

It then leads me to thinking; how long will this last?

This is not the first time I've felt lonely. I've felt this way many times before.
Like no one wants me or wants to talk to me even though deep down I know that isn't true.

But then I think about my future. I want to get married to someone who loves me and that I love back. And I want to be with that person for a really, really long time--until I die. But what if no one wants that with me? What if I never find that man? What if I die alone and never get to be truly in love?

I'm scared of that happening and every time I hear stories of couples that are madly in love or watch movies about newly weds I fear that I will never have that.

Love is such a beautiful thing, so is marriage, and hell, so is sex!
But if I never find "the one" or some one I will never get to experience any of those things that I've always dreamed about.

I have plenty of time. I'm only 15. But time flies by and in no time I could be 50 and single. My whole life I've only had a couple boyfriends. One of which was in the kindergarten and hardly counts as a boyfriend.

If I could go to the future and just see what I'm doing and who I'm with, that would settle this anxiety.

10 Things I Fear

Death. I think almost everyone fears this. What will happen after I die? How will I die? Who is going to miss me? Who will be happy that I'm gone? It just scares me.

www.old-picture.com

Pregnancy. I've mentioned this in another post, a long time ago, but I really do fear being pregnant. Or maybe I just feel that when I am pregnant, I will be scared to death about birth and how painful it will be.

www.jaywashere.com

Living in the Real World. As of now, I live with my mom. Because, after all, I am 15. But graduating high school and going off to college scares me. My life will be drastically different.

www.edwebproject.org

Pain. I have an extremely low tolerance of pain. I can hardly handle a migraine! Just talking about it makes me cringe.

Throwing Up.  You're probably thinking "What?", but I am completely serious. I have never thrown up since I was a baby, so young I can't even remember what it's like. The thought of food coming up my throat and out of my mouth uncontrollably is just horrifying!

schoolnet.gov.mt

Heights. This is a pretty common fear, so I'm not going to go into it.

static.howstuffworks.com

Stairs. I always have this sick thought in the back of my head that while I am going up, or even down, the stairs, some sick bastard is going to push me and I will hurt myself or die.

Elevators. Another common fear. I can ride an elevator without crying, but it still really scares me. I mainly get scared that the elevator will fall or get stuck.

web.mac.com

Guys. I never want to be heart-broken over a guy. I never have and the fear of it happening is always going to be there. Even if I have been with that person for 5 years, even if I am in love with that person. Even if we get married and start a family...

images.picturesdepot.com

Sitting in the Front Seat of a Car. You will never, and I mean NEVER find me sitting in the front seat of a car unless it is my mother driving or I am somehow forced to. Some people drive so fast that I am scared I'll pop out of my seat, go straight through the windshield and die.

everymilesamemory.smugmug.com

My Best Moments of 2010

This year has gone by so fast. I can't believe it's about to be 2011!

It makes me go back to all the good times I had in 2010. All the wonderful things I was blessed with and got the opportunity to have. I want to share my first one with you...

Losing my house.
I really don't think I blogged about this, as I lost my house before I made this blog.

Losing my house was one of the hardest things I have ever had to deal with in my life. I was incredibly upset and shocked that we could no longer live in the place I called home. It's a feeling I never want to feel again.
You may ask "Why is this one of your best moments then?".
Well, it made me realize how blessed I am. It also lifted a huge weight off my shoulders.

Many people would look at this as a bad moment, but a little part of me is glad it happened. I sometimes look at this in the wrong way and I get angry that my life has turned out this way. When I lived in my old house, I was always worried. Always scared. I was always anxious about the day that we would just not be able to afford it anymore. When we'd have to give it up.
I never wanted to be in a position where I was homeless. That scared me more than anything.

When we finally left the house, I was worry free. I slept better than I had ever slept in five years.  I woke up with a feeling of freedom. Like I never had to worry about a thing ever again.
It made me cry to think about how horrible I felt when I was at that house. Now, I can live a great, peaceful life.

It made me stronger, happier, it made me a better person. I know realize how lucky I am. Now I can start over and make something good out of what has happened.

I'll never forget my old house, but this move, this step-up in life, will forever be one of the best moments of my life.

10 Things I Want To Do Before I'm 40

Vacation in another country. I'd love to visit New Zealand or Mexico.

 Get married. I want to fall in love and be with that person 'til the day that I die.



 Face a fear. I am acrophobic, I am terrified of heights! If I face that fear, I can do anything.



 Get a tattoo. I want to be able to look back and think "I remember the day I got this tattoo..."


Go skinny dipping in the ocean. I've gone skinny dipping before, but doing it at the beach puts a new spin on it!


Own over 40 pairs of shoes. It'd be nice to have a closet full of shoes. On my 40th birthday, I'll buy the 40th pair.


Have my dream career. How many people can say that they love their job? Well I want to be one of them that do.


 Donate blood. Someone out there needs it more than I do.


Eat at a fancy restaurant alone and enjoy it!


Be a member of the audience in a t.v. show. Saturday Night Live anyone?


In 25 years, I hope I'll have completed this list.