Thursday, July 28, 2011

It's Time To Give Up

A couple days ago Eva messaged me on Facebook saying that we weren't going to be hanging out this weekend and that we could maybe do it later (yeah, I knew that sleepover was never going to happen).

I said okay, told her that I'd be busy this whole week and that we'd have to do it next weekend. Then I added on that I felt we were no longer best friends and that we are both forcing it because we want to be.

I thought it was perfectly reasonable to confess how I've been feeling for a while.

I also mentioned in that same message that I felt that the way I acted in 8th grade (ignoring her and being embarrassed because she was a slut) was the reason why we started to drift away in the first place.

Here I was pouring my guts out, showing my weak side and confessing to her (something I rarely do because I have a fear of appearing weak and helpless) and she clearly didn't give a shit because it's been almost three days and she hasn't called me or replied to the message so we could talk about it.

Now I feel stupid and embarrassed and I might have to see her today at registration and that is the last thing I want to do.

When you have problems with a friend, you don't ignore them and ignore the issue, you talk about it and work it out.

I don't even know why I try. Like I always say, people always give up on me and people always leave my life. I should be used to it by now.

I was stupid and naive to think she would want to work out the problems in our friendship.

I'm done, I'm done trying and I'm done caring.

If she wants to be friends, she'll have to say something to me first because I'm done.

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