Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Thoughts #9- The Ones You Love, Hurt You The Most

A couple of days ago I was getting a snack to eat and my mom looks at me and says "You're too skinny. You need to eat more food." I was pretty confused since she's never said anything about my weight before and didn't really seem to have a problem with it. I told her I was fine the way I was and went about my day. Then she continues with the nonsense..."It's ugly, you need to gain more weight. Every time I look at you it makes me upset to see how skinny you are."

You can sit there and say that she is just trying to help or just being a mother and didn't try to come off as mean, but no. Absolutely no excuses for saying that kind of bullshit (excuse my language). Remember that post I wrote about how it's not okay to call someone "too skinny" and think it doesn't offend them? Yeah, same situation here.

My mother seriously sat there thinking that it was perfectly fine to tell me that my body was ugly since I was too skinny. Really? You are my mom and this is what you're saying to me?

I was in shock, I simply stood there, said "thank you" and walked away. I don't know why I said thank you but I haven't really talked to her since. Maybe it's wrong, but I definitely expect an apology from her. Even if she doesn't think what she said was wrong, she can still she how much it upsets me. That should be enough to take a second out of your day to say "I'm sorry".

If there is one thing I learned from this it is that I will never trust my mother. Because all she will do is judge me. So if I lose my virginity and I regret it, I definitely won't be telling her. If someone says something to me at school that really hurts me, she will be the last to hear about it. And if I am really excited about a new boyfriend, I'll do everything possible to make sure she doesn't know about him. There is not one thing I want to share with that woman, ever again.

P.S. I'm a healthy 108 pound, 5"3 15 year old and couldn't be happier. As Tyra would say it, SO WHAT?

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