Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Where Will Life Take Me?

So I'm on Spring Break and I have nothing to do, nowhere to go, and no one to talk to.

It then leads me to thinking; how long will this last?

This is not the first time I've felt lonely. I've felt this way many times before.
Like no one wants me or wants to talk to me even though deep down I know that isn't true.

But then I think about my future. I want to get married to someone who loves me and that I love back. And I want to be with that person for a really, really long time--until I die. But what if no one wants that with me? What if I never find that man? What if I die alone and never get to be truly in love?

I'm scared of that happening and every time I hear stories of couples that are madly in love or watch movies about newly weds I fear that I will never have that.

Love is such a beautiful thing, so is marriage, and hell, so is sex!
But if I never find "the one" or some one I will never get to experience any of those things that I've always dreamed about.

I have plenty of time. I'm only 15. But time flies by and in no time I could be 50 and single. My whole life I've only had a couple boyfriends. One of which was in the kindergarten and hardly counts as a boyfriend.

If I could go to the future and just see what I'm doing and who I'm with, that would settle this anxiety.